A Certified EMDR Therapist's First Experience with EMDR (ps. it wasn't good)
During my time in graduate school, I underwent some profound personal realizations about my childhood. At that time, my internship supervisor was undergoing training in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy and would share about this cutting-edge approach. I decided to find someone in the area and start the healing journey.
I decided to see an EMDR therapist. I didn't ask questions but just trusted them as they were the expert and the "process" of EMDR. I vividly recall sitting in the therapist's office, transported back to moments from my past with startling clarity. The sights, sounds, and emotions were so intense that it felt as though I had been thrust back in time. While terrifying, there was also a sense of acceptance, as if this intense reliving was an integral part of the healing process. However, the aftermath of each session left me drained, trapped in a cycle of relentless flashbacks until the next appointment, where we would tackle a new target.
Fast forward six years to when I found myself just five minutes into a week-long EMDR training. In that moment, it dawned on me: "That therapist messed me up." The way EMDR was being practiced during the training was starkly different from what I experienced as a client. As we practiced with fellow trainees, I found more relief in the hands of someone new to EMDR than from a therapist supposedly experienced in the technique. It was a chilling realization.
My experience isn't meant to deter anyone from seeking EMDR therapy. However, it underscores the reality that not all EMDR practitioners are equal, and unfortunately, my encounters weren't isolated incidents. I've encountered numerous clients and colleagues who've shared similar experiences with EMDR.
EMDR is undeniably a potent therapeutic tool, but it must be wielded with caution and competence. Safety is paramount. As someone considering EMDR therapy, it's crucial to ask potential therapists the right questions:
- Did you undergo training accredited by the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA)?
- When did you receive your training?
- Do you engage in ongoing professional development?
- Are you EMDR Certified or working towards certification?
- What is your success rate with EMDR?
- Do you have experience using EMDR to address [specific concern]?
These questions can help ensure that you're receiving EMDR therapy from a qualified practitioner committed to your well-being. While my journey with EMDR had its challenges, I remain hopeful that by sharing my experience, others can navigate their own therapeutic journeys more safely and effectively.
Kayla is a Certified EMDR Therapist and Consultant-in-Training. You can learn more about me here!
