Therapist Tales: Managing the Emotional Landscape of Parenting

Becoming a parent is absolutely mind-blowing. There are moments when I look at myself and wonder if I'm truly ready for this, despite being 35 years old and supposedly mature. The weight of responsibility is staggering. It's not just about the day-to-day tasks like changing diapers and feeding; it's about the monumental task of nurturing a child's psychological well-being without messing it up. And let me tell you, it's astonishing how a tiny 8-month-old human can push all my buttons in a mere three seconds. As a therapist, I try my best to take a step back and analyze what's happening inside me.

I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so here are a few things that might help:

First, take a breath. Not just any breath, but a slower and deeper one than you typically take. Now, do this three more times. Yes, do it.

Next, ask yourself: What is it in this moment that's setting me off?

For me, it usually starts with something like, "Why won't she just nap? It's just a nap, she needs it, why can't I get her to sleep? I am a failure." Do you see how quickly that can happen? It’s fast, then add in all the body sensations and feelings!

But then, I try to dig deeper to really understand my own experiences that I had and how they are affecting me as a new parent. It helps to talk to a certified EMDR therapist. Yes, I am one, but I also have an EMDR Certified therapist (hey Tim!). Together, we are able to draw on these highly emotional times as a parent but then trace them back to these earlier experiences that I had no clue were connected. With the help of Tim and EMDR, we are able to give me more power in the moment but also nurture that inner child.

P.S. In case no one told you today… you are doing a fucking great job. Keep it up!